The Midnight Snack

I’m sitting on my waterbed racked by guilt . . . I hardly left my bedroom yesterday. Godiva truffles, and a whole box of them! I’ve disappointed myself and, God knows, my readers too. But there’s always a ray of hope. Here is mine: My houseboy, Chatto, has now been ordered to stand guard over the refrigerator in the wee hours of the night, when my old habits tend to get the best of me. Anyway, I think I should probably get up now. Gary Busey, an old friend, is coming over tonight for a barbecue (tolerance!) and a snorkeling session in my Buddhist water garden, and I need to send Chatto over to the Whole Foods. Gary’s suggested grilled swordfish steaks in a teriyaki marinade, while I’m leaning towards vegetarian shish kebab in peanut sauce. Will have to cheer Gary up. He’s been in the dumps since yesterday, when he read about that look-alike out in Aspen who hosed a kid with pepper spray and stole all his publicity. The funny thing is: Gary is a pepper spray fanatic and a crack-shot (he sprays me all the time), and he’s ALWAYS running stop signs. I just hope he brings his 3-wheeler this time.

Yesterday's Meals:
Breakfast
Apple wedges with low-fat cottage cheese (4 points)

Mid-Morning Snack
Tea biscuit, glass of mineral water (2 points)

Lunch
One serving buffalo mozzarella (so little fat you’d cry!) with aged balsamic vinegar drizzle and fresh basil garnish, seared endive with peppercorn (5 points)

Mid-Afternoon Snack
Granola balls (4 points)

Dinner
Sweet peppers stuffed with wild rice and seasonings, shredded cabbage salad, kiwi (6 points) . . . Family Bucket Kentucky Fried Chicken, 16 butter biscuits (no gravy), bucket dirty rice, bucket mashed potatoes, 1 New York Cheesecake (Here is the thing. I KNEW that Chatto was going to keep his word about the refrigerator, so I went on that hunch and developed a ‘just in case’ contingency for an ‘emergency’ scenario and stocked up right after dinner . . . and it worked! Chatto never suspected a thing!)

My weight: 327 lbs?