Never Listen to Doctors

Steathy Proposition officially a no-go. Will start shooting Multiple Exit Wounds this spring, co-written with L.L. Cool J and Eric Roberts (look at those biceps!). But who will they use to dub my voice? I haven’t given much thought to this. Mr. Singh of Singh and Perdus Ltd. has released rights to Mr. Perdus, who then passed his option on to his nephew, a man named Minch, who owns many fabrics plants in Columbo, where the film will be shot on location. Dr. Baswabi is afraid I may be ‘taxing myself’ by performing ‘in my state.' But I’ll tell you the one thing I’ve learned in my 30-plus years in the industry: NEVER LISTEN TO DOCTORS WHO CHARGE BY THE POUND! Will have to start getting in shape though. On that note, yesterday’s meals.

Yesterday's Meals
Breakfast
Low-calorie bran and carob chip muffin (5 points)

Mid-Morning Snack
Skipped today (need to get serious)

Lunch
Assorted sushi and sashimi, miso soup, salad with ginger dressing (8 points)

Mid-Afternoon Snack
Nature's Valley cinnamon granola bar (4 points)

Dinner
Grilled salmon with lemon zest, arugula salad, peppered orzo (8 points)

Midnight Snack
Six crab rangoons, five fried pork dumplings, one quart egg drop soup, one pint shrimp fried rice, one pint pork lo mein, one pint General Tso's chicken, delivered from Ming Dynasty 24-hour Chinese buffet (only $6.95 per pound, plus tip!)

My Weight: 348 lbs