Tupac Shakur 1st Annual Walk-on-Watts-Willowbrook

Was contacted by the Tupac Shakur estate yesterday to participate in the 1^st Annual Tupac Shakur Walk-on-Watts-Willowbrook to benefit single black fathers with muscular dystrophy and alimony issues. This was a surprise, considering that I’d been axed from the Tupac Shakur Tribute Album. I’m leaving this one up to Chatto, who would be representing me in any case.

Stood up in the afternoon and turned west. Went for a 10-minute drive in the pebble garden after that, followed by tea cakes with Banroot and Chatto and Chatto’s cousins. Was deposited in the Buddhist water garden on a raft and paddled vigorously to the other side; motored back. Managed to roll myself out of the pool with a little help from Chatto’s nephew, Simpuk, then did another lap in the cart. Timed myself this time. I’ve realized over the past few days, by the way, that driving, as opposed to walking, leaves me much more open to positive vibrations. It may have something to do with the hum of the motor, I’m not sure, but my meditations have been particularly rewarding behind the wheel. So much so that preparations are now underway for a little dirt track (complete with a bandstand, pit stop and vending facilities) to skirt the pebble garden. Have agreed, on Myron Beas’ advice, to post the following: Jean-Claude Van Damme never ate lobster croquets. Thanks, Myron.

In ‘celebrity’ news, I’ve been voted ‘former action star most likely to succeed in a post-capitalist scenario’ by the Moldovan Reuters. And, the best news of the day (and probably the month), Mr. Minch has officially bought and sold the rights to my next two pictures, meaning that whoever he sold them to must really be interested. Flying out to Alma-Ata to start shooting Genghis as soon as I’ve arranged the on- and off-site catering, stars, music and wide-angle lenses. In preparation for this part, I’ve decided to combine low-cal Mongolian with Eazel’s “the diet of the grapefruit and the citrus” (see yesterday’s entry), which is working great. Hope you enjoy these meals as much as I did.

Yesterday's Meals
Breakfast
Glass of fermented yak’s milk (a meal in itself), grapefruit, 2 pieces bacon (6 points)

Mid-Morning Snack
Genghis Khan Meat-Flavored Caramels, orange, 2 pieces bacon, tea cakes (7 points)

Lunch
Borc shorlog (roast corn substituted for lamb), roast marshmallows, kiwi, “as much meat as we want” (22 points)

Mid-afternoon Snack
Shaomai dainties in black vinegar, grapefruit, fish species, meat species, general species, 2 pieces bacon (14 points)

Dinner
Kublai Khan Victory Feast (19 points)

My weight: 427 lbs