Chatto Gets Worked Over

Still getting over this, but I thought I’d share it with you anyway. Chatto and I were at the Whole Foods yesterday night when some guy elbows his way over to the ice cream freezer (I’d strayed from the tofu aisle). This guy says to Chatto, “Move over, samosa,” and Chatto says, “Says who?” and the guy says, “You who.” Chatto doesn’t move, and that’s when I roll in. The guy obviously didn’t know who I was. I say, “Step off, brother.” He says, “Beat it, fatty.” I say, “Do you even know who I am?” He says to his friend, who’s just showed up, “Yeah, you’re the guy that ate my car.” They both thought this was funny, and I really don’t think they knew who I was. Chatto steps in at this point (he actually puts himself in between my cart and the Ben and Jerry’s) and the first guy gives him a shove. Naturally, I refrain from violence. Chatto’s got his feathers up. He spits. Meanwhile, I’ve already motored up the cart and am preparing for our getaway and the next thing I know Chatto’s in the ice cream freezer! The horrible thing was that with the Siegal Cart’s wrap-around hood, I couldn’t reach him. I motored over to the security check-point but the booth was empty. By the time I motored back Chatto was laid out in the spice aisle.

By the way, I just started out on the Slim Form Patch, which I found out too late are inedible. Otherwise, have been sticking to a Marmite Diet (Sylvester Stallone, and about half a million English dieters, swears by this).

Yesterday’s Meals:
Breakfast
Sausage and Sticky Marmite Onion Butty (this is 8 beef sausages, 2 large onions, 1 tsp of Marmite, serves 4 . . . 21 points)

Mid-Morning Snack
Crispy Pork Squares with Marmite Crème Fraiche Dip and Apple Sauce (12 points)

Lunch
Panfried Seabass with Soft Potato and Spicy Spring Onion Marmite Dressing (14 points)

Mid-Afternoon Snack
Marmite Popovers with Bacon & Cheese (8 points)

Dinner
Cheddar Marmite Pasta with Parma Ham and Rocket, Marmite Bloody Mary, Coffee Ice Cream with Chocolate Marmite Sauce for desert (26 points)

Midnight Snack
Box Slim Form Patches (1 point)

My weight: .22226 tons