UPDATE: FIRST HOUR OF FAST

Just wanted to let you know that my fast began officially at 6 a.m. today and so far I’m doing great. Not hungry but I was chowing continuously until 5:59 so I’m not getting my hopes up yet. The fast will officially end at the stroke of midnight next Friday.

Drinking plenty of water and keeping my mind focused on the goal. Chatto is by my side as I write with a steady supply of damp towels, a bottle of Zaleplon and a syringe of rhinocernos tranquilizer, in case I want to sleep off a few hours. Am positively not thinking about food. My consoling thought for the hour is: Genghis Khan never ate breakfast, which means he never ate a piping hot Egg McKublai.

FAST UPDATE — 7:15 a.m.: I am now focusing on Gary’s feet, trying to block out the hot Egg McKublai but am only seeing a hot Egg McKublai. I have the feeling that once breakfast time is here and gone, my resolve will return.

FAST UPDATE — 7:17 a.m.: Jesus, this is harder than it sounded a day ago. I am now focusing on Gary’s teeth . . .

FAST UPDATE — 7:21 a.m.: No longer thinking of an Egg McKublai, and this is just the sort of thing I meant. Feeling nauseous, which is a good thing. Possibly will vomit. Let’s hope not. Will try focusing on Gary’s gums . . .

Will keep you posted with live updates on my fasting condition throughout the weekend. Until then, God bless and enjoy your buttermilk pancakes and sausage links, bacon, cheddar-stuffed omelette or whatever you’re eating and I’m not thinking about,

Sensei

Yesterday’s meals:

Continuous chow

My weight: 453 lb! (Managed to hit 450 after all).