A Day of Negativity

Image of the day: Edible Bikinis from Fruit Suits

Decided, against Manuel’s better judgment, to move a little over the weekend. Ever since the sushi pillows came Manuel and I have been basking on the floor of one room or another, and this has started to effect my chi negatively. So, when Manuel asked me to fire up the Cookiemobile for our mid-morning snack yesterday, I ignored him, and acting on a sudden urge towards mobility, walked from the Pure Room, where we’d been basking, to the kitchen. Just to let you know, the kitchen is on the other side of the ground floor from the Pure Room and the route requires 5 minutes of brisk walking. To everybody’s amazement I made it in 4, and though I felt palpably winded and had suffered a mild perspiration, I continued to walk around the central island, making a total of 10 laps before pausing for a rest. And that’s the last thing I remember.

When Manuel motored in with Eric and Emilio minutes later, they found me curled up in the floor in front of the F&P in a fetal position resembling, in Manuel’s own words, ‘a stunned whale upon a foreign shore’. I was rushed immediately via the Cookiemobile to my waterbed where I rolled around drenched in my own sweats until our periodic feast at midnight. Noticed, too, that my clip-on ponytail is losing precious hair. And, worst of all, I didn’t even have the strength, or will power, to eat my rosewater and nougat dressing gown from Erotic Sirens.

Because I’m still feeling a bit peeked from yesterday’s exercise, as a sidebar to today’s entry I’ll mention only that shooting on Genghis has seen some unforeseeable setbacks, viz. most of the cast and technicians have refused to participate on the grounds that it is, according to the jointly signed and double-registered petition, ‘quite possibly the biggest piece of garbage Hollywood has ever had the misfortune to be associated with since John Travolta got his union card’. Am considering removing the musical interludes and reducing the epic flourishes and making it a Seagal-Busey buddy film, but still don’t know.

Still on pig feed and still waiting on my microlipids. Gus isn’t returning my phone calls and the receptionist suggested (I’m sure this wasn’t the innocent remark it seemed) that I consider ‘filling up a bathtub with Canola oil and drinking it’.

Chi is low . . . have been pestered by malignant forces all day.

Yesterday’s Meals:

Breakfast
Quarter bag Alphamune

Mid-Morning Snack
Half trough Tenter and Fisk’s Barley Feed for Hind Gut Development

Lunch-Dinner
Unfortunately, too weak to eat

Periodic Feast
Another Outdoor Lamb Roast (am getting a little sick of Manuel’s outdoor roasts but good pickings anyway; managed to hold up my end of the feast . . . 84 points)

My Weight: 525 lbs