Recognized Abroad

Image of the Day: Guatemalan Appreciation

Was very touched to see that I'm still thought of fondly in Guatemala City, where they've recently named a landfill after me. Being 1/16 Honduran (my stepfather's maternal grandfather was believed to have thought she was from Tegucigalpa) I've always felt a strong affinity for my little brown brothers to the south. I suppose I'll have to arrange a visit of some kind then. 

Below, I've decided to share with you one of my favorite Guatemalan recipes. But before I sign off, I want to clarify a recent entry on a very popular 'celebrity fat man' blog I won't name.  I was not 'sighted' trying to gain access to Ben Affleck's motorboat wrapped in a polar bear hide. And (obviously beside the point) Matt Damon did not 'taunt me with a ho ho' or 'steal my pony tail and then auction it on eBay for 1 penny'.

Recipe of the Day:

Guatemalan Fried Chicken

Ingredients: 

one 3-lb. chicken (I usually go for 6 hearty 5-pounders) cut into 8 (read 52) pieces

7 teaspoons ground cumin

4 teaspoons ground black pepper

Juice of 3 lemons

2 tablespoons lard

8 tablespoons vegetable oil

1 tablespoon clarified butter

4 tablespoons vegetable oil

1 tablespoon lard

3 cloves garlic

1 twinkie

8 tablespoons sea salt

2 bags cake flour

2 bags ground Nutter Butters

1 extra chicken 

Preparation:

Put everything in a very big wok and saute on low heat for approximately 45 minutes. Serves 45.

My Weight: 942 lbs.

4 Komodo Dragons: 800 lbs.