Heavy Praise from the People's Republic

Image of the Day: "The Seagal Effect"

Can't say something like this happens twice in a lifetime. On Friday December 5th, Minister of Finance of the People's Republic of China, Xie Xuren, publicly referred to the current downward spiral in the US economy as "The Seagal Effect". Needless to say, he was talking about my phoenix-like resiliency and determination in the face of impossible obstacles and not my weight, which has seen only steady increases in the past 10 or so years. If only Alan Greenspan could say the same thing!

Seeing that I've just about hit the 1,000-lb mark, I've decided to include a new item on the blog called the Seagal Fat Counter 1000. The Seagal Fat Counter 1000 will feature daily the number of pounds needed to propel me over the long-awaited half-ton mark. If I hit the mark before Christmas (which seems likely), I will postpone worldwide announcement of my achievement until Chinese New Year 2009, which falls on the 26th of January, when I'm scheduled to take on Ming Xuan of Zhejiang Province for the international double-battered algae eating record.

My weight: 992 lbs.

Alan Greenspan, Xie Xuren and the rest of the Chinese Cabinet: 1,550 lbs.

Seagal Fat Counter 1000: 8 lbs.