STEVEN SEAGAL: LOUISIANA LAWMAN NOW FAT COP

Image of the Day: "Fat Cop" Groupie

I'd never really trusted the A&E people and, as things have turned out, my Buddhist intuition was right on target. My reality show Steven Seagal: Louisiana Lawman, set to air in 2009, is now FAT COP.  Won't even comment on the weightism here. I just want to say that I'm a little disappointed in the Jefferson Parish County Sheriff's Office, who approved this decision. And this after I volunteered my 8-man cart for Hurricane Katrina catering efforts in 2005, to mention nothing of all the donut tabs I picked up in the Big Easy. A&E seems to feel that nixing my name will be good for publicity. I don't really know where this is going but I have reason to believe that the show's gimmick (the fact that I would be the only fully commissioned deputy in Jefferson Parish making arrests on a steamroller) will lose its appeal if I'm merely 'chuckling over the CB at the local Krispy Kreme', the basic premise of Fat Cop. Will have to have a chat with Patrick Swayze (who got to name HIS new show).

Feeling gassy and depressed.

My weight: 980 lbs.