False Promises, New Vistas

Didn’t manage to go without breakfast yesterday after all, as Chatto had warned. Very bad news came through last night. I won’t be performing for the Knights Mendicant of Fetishti after all. (They had confused me with someone else – I still can’t figure out who – and weren’t looking for a martial arts demonstration at all; they needed a man skilled in gavage.) The only good news of the day is that my new album, Mojo Hands, is selling better than we’d expected in Kazakhstan. Chatto contacted the Moldovan embassy to see if any other fraternal organizations in South Ossetia might be interested in hosting a performance; didn’t get any positive leads. Didn’t find the time yesterday to meditate either, and worse, realized that the pebble garden is infested with the same creeping weed Gary has in his. I felt bloated for a few minutes after lunch but the feeling passed. I hope it doesn’t strike again!

Today's Meals
Breakfast
Grapefruit with two wedges of low calorie Emmenthal . . . not as bad as it sounds! (2 points)

Mid-Morning Snack
Guava smoothie with vitamin booster (5 points)

Lunch
Chilled tofu salad with lime-ginger dressing (5 points)

Mid-Afternoon Snack
Rice cakes with low calorie cream cheese substitute (4 points)

Dinner
Eggs Benedict sauteed in olive oil with raddichio garnish (6 points)

Midnight Snack
12 oz. paté de foie gras (When I opted to go ahead with this midnight snack, I was feeling especially vulnerable and so overindulged. Initially, I thought I’d divide the package into two portions – for two midnight snacks – but once I started I just couldn’t stop. Chatto won’t even look me in the eye.)

Some Additional Setbacks

Found out yesterday that South Ossetia doesn’t have an embassy. We were directed to the Moldovan embassy (a 10-minute jog from the Romanian embassy; I managed to cover it in 15, walking briskly). Chatto was furious. At the Moldovan embassy I was questioned. Was the photo on my passport (Under Siege) really the same man? I had my hair down, but quickly clipped on my ponytail. The man at the desk still refused to issue me a visa. This hurt. We’ll just have to see. Stopped in for a chat with Tony Danza, who I noticed has developed a little paunch of his own, and then sat down to eat a chicken salad at a McDonald's on Vine Street, which doubled as my lunch and mid-afternoon snack. No one asked for my autograph; left my ponytail on the tray.

Yesterday's Meals:
Breakfast
Free-range hardboiled egg and cup of green tea (3 points)

Mid-Morning Snack
Bowl of miso soup (3 points)

Lunch/Mid-Afternoon Snack
McDonald’s chicken salad with honey-walnut dressing (7 points)

Supper
Whole wheat calzone with organic green pepper and mushroom stuffing (7 points)

Dinner
Mixed sashimi (6 points)

Midnight Snack
Spanish omelet (a late, late midnight snack, which I decided will serve as this morning’s breakfast)

My Weight: 330 lbs (still)